Light and Dark
by NT aka Aku-chan
Summary: How Ken handles the death of a certain angel as the memories begin to haunt him. (Kenkeru) Please r/r! *Chapter 3 Finally Up*
1. The Death of an Angel

Title: Light and Dark  
  
Author: NT  
  
Warning: Yaoi, Angst.  
  
Pairing(s): Ken/Takeru  
  
NT: Well, this story is angst. No surprise there. This takes place after the death of Takeru.  
  
TK: What? I died. *almost crying*  
  
NT: I'm sorry. It was either you or Ken.  
  
Ken: My angel... gone.  
  
TK: *runs into Ken's arms crying*  
  
Ken: *cries*  
  
NT: Wah!! No, don't cry! I'm sorry!!! *changes attitude* I don't own Digimon.  
  
Ken: Hey, we were having a moment.  
  
NT: Well, I had to say it. Stop your crying anyways. It's only a story.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 1: Death of an Angel  
  
I thought I could survive without you. I thought as time passed the pain would lessen and I would be able to move on. Never thought I would love another as I did you, but still. I could at least care for another. No. Since your death, my life has been a hell. It is a hell. I can still remember the day. The day I heard you for the last time. The moment your eyes lost its soul, its meaning. Where'd it go? Where did you go? I never thought that when you left, you would take my soul with you. We were one. We are one. We are the two halves of a whole. You were the light while I was the dark. The angel and the devil. Complete opposites, but we belonged together.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Ken-chan!!! Ken-chan!!" I heard you call my name. I never liked that name, but no matter how many times I asked you to stop, you didn't. I didn't love you less because of it. Maybe it was the way you would always smile when you said it.  
  
"I told you not to call me that."  
  
"Ken-chan! There you are."  
  
I sat under my favorite tree reading a book. The same tree that we had our first kiss under. When you had tackled me to the ground and forced your lips on mine. I loved that day. It replayed over and over in my mind.  
  
"What are you doing, Koi?"  
  
I loved how you called me koi. I was your koi and you were mine.  
  
"Just reading a book. Hm?"  
  
You pushed way underneath my arms and sat on my lap.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"I think I'm trying to get comfortable."  
  
You looked at the book I was reading with that cute confused face. You looked up at me with those two wide blue eyes.  
  
"It's for school."  
  
I could hear you sigh, but it was a happy sigh. I felt you move around as I tried to concentrate on my book. You, of course, always ended up distracting me. You turned your whole body somehow so you were facing me and closed the gap with a kiss.  
  
I loved how you taste. You were sweet. I miss that taste.  
  
"Let's go get some ice cream!"  
  
"But I have to finish reading this book-" You pouted. It was adorable. "Awww.. don't do that, please." You kept on pouting and looked down as if you were to cry. "Okay, okay. We'll go get some ice cream." You looked back up at me, a smiled brightly. I could never say no to that face.  
  
I watched you hope around like a small child with such innocence. I loved how little things made you happy. You were amazed with everything, as if you were seeing it for the first time. The flowers smelled wonderful this time of years and the sun was high with a few scattered clouds. No matter how beautiful everything looked, you always caught my eye first. You were the center of it all. Everything was the background while you were the fallen angel in the middle making everything look the way it had.  
  
As I brushed the grass off of myself, you ran to me. You leaned into my chest as your hair brushed in my face. Then, as quick as you came, you ran off with the widest smile you could make. I knew you loved spending time with me how I did with you.  
  
I slowly followed behind my fallen angel. You stopped outside of the park's entrance, as you waited for the walk signal. As it had, you started to cross and looked back to see me.  
  
"Ken-chan!!! Hurry!!!"  
  
I didn't understand why you always wanted to get there fast, but you had. I picked up my speed, but my book had fallen out of my grip. As I bent down to pick it up, I heard the swerving of a car and someone yelling. I quickly looked back to where you were to be and my heart completely stopped. You weren't smiling. You weren't standing there calling me. No, you weren't the way I wanted you to be.  
  
The ambulance came in what seemed like forever. They picked up your fragile body and rushed you to the hospital. I road by your side, holding your bloody hand. This image would haunt me forever, but I didn't think of that. I wanted you to stay alive. I wanted you to be okay. I wanted you to tell me that everything would come out all right and we would get some ice cream.  
  
But that never happened. You stayed in the hospital unconscious for days. I sat by your side the entire time. Even when I was supposed to leave. No one was going to separate me from you. Your older brother and parents had stopped by every chance they could. The other Digidestineds also came, but they didn't say anything. They didn't know what to say. I could feel their sympathetic looks on me, but mostly there sorrow and worry for you. They wanted you as much alive as I had. No, I wanted it more. I wanted it much more.  
  
You weren't getting better. No matter how hard the doctors tried, you stayed in the same condition. That is, until the last day. The last day of your life... and mine.  
  
I had just woken up as I felt a pressure on my hand. I had never let you go. Your eyes were open. Those beautiful blue eyes. But they were different. They looked so pained and sad. I couldn't stand to see you this way.  
  
"K-Ken-chan?"  
  
"Yes, I'm here, my love."  
  
"I-it hurts."  
  
I almost broke into tears, but I held them in. I didn't want you to see me cry. I had to be strong , for you.  
  
"I know, koi. I know."  
  
"Do you- do you believe in... angels?"  
  
My eyes had widened. What were you saying? "Takeru, you're going to live, you know that right?"  
  
All there was was silence. You turned your head away from me. When you looked back at me, tears were in your eyes.  
  
"Takeru."  
  
I gripped your hand tighter. I wasn't going to lose you now. But could I really decide that? I have no power over that.  
  
A few tears had passed my barrier and left my eyes. You brought your weak hand to wipe them away.  
  
"Ken... I won't ever leave you, but it hurts so much. I'll always love you, no matter what."  
  
"Takeru!! You're not going to die!! You're going to live!! Please, don't leave me!! I don't want to be alone again!!!!" I broke down. All those tears I had tried to hold back were now free.  
  
Your voice at grown to a whisper. "Ken... you won't be alone. I'll always be with you."  
  
You lifted my head up so I was looking at you. I leaped at you, making sure I didn't hurt you more. I brought our lips together as the tears from both our eyes fell. You would always taste as sweet. I knew we'd always be together, but I needed more than that. I need you in my arms forever. Always looking at me with those eyes and always smiling.  
  
Without you, the world won't look as bright. You were the center of the picture. Everything would fall apart without you. The flowers would lose its smell and the clouds would block the sun. Once bright day, now gray clouds.  
  
You were in pain. I didn't want you to be, so you had to let go. You had to stop holding on. Before your eyes had closed, I sat by your side.  
  
"I believe in angels, Takeru. I love you." My voice was soft, but I knew you heard me. I could tell from that smile on your face. Your eyes slowly shut, as I knew the last thing you saw was me.  
  
That sound would haunt me. The sound of your heart stopping. No more beating. No more you. You had left. You had turned into that angel I always knew you were. You were with me, but it didn't feel enough. Not enough for me to smile. Not enough for me to see everything the way I had use to.  
  
**End Flashback**  
  
You are gone. The balance is gone. It's only me and the darkness. I didn't turn out the way I had when my brother died, but I felt the same. I felt I lost more than just a love. I lost a part of me. I lost my other half.  
  
I walk through the park. It isn't the same. The sky is dull and everything is just gray. I've been seeing gray ever since you left. I don't know why. The other colors left me the way you had. The flowers didn't smell sweet. They had no smell at all. The clouds had taken over the sky. Gray clouds. Nothing but an endless gray.  
  
Everyone saw the way I had changed, but no one said anything. They all knew why. They all knew Takeru and I were in love. Are in love. He may be an angel, but I know he still loves me.  
  
Maybe I'll never get over this. The truth is, I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to forget him. I could never do that. He is mine and I am his. It will be that way forever.  
  
***  
  
NT: To Be Continued...  
  
TK: That was too sad!! Why'd you have to do that to my poor Ken-chan?!?!  
  
Ken: Why'd you have to kill me angel?!?!  
  
NT: No comment.  
  
Ken: What?! No comment?!  
  
NT: Yup. No comment. Please r/r. Please stop crying!!!  
  
TK and Ken: *still crying* WHY?!?  
  
NT: *sighs* 


	2. The Pain is Forever, Or is It?

Title: Light and Dark  
  
Author: NT  
  
NT: I don't own Digimon. This will contain Yaoi and have angst and a bit of fluff then more angst.  
  
Ken: Great.  
  
NT: You guys aren't still mad at me, are you?  
  
Ken: Of course!! You killed my angel and then made me suffer so much!!  
  
NT: *sighs*  
  
TK: Why?  
  
NT: Didn't we already go over that?  
  
TK: No.  
  
NT: Just go hug or kiss or something. Leave me alone to write the next chapter. *sighs* I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry for killing TK and making Ken suffer.  
  
TK: Thank you!  
  
Ken: I'm still mad at you.  
  
NT: *sighs*  
  
TK: You tend to sigh a lot, even at the oddest times.  
  
NT: I have a good reason to sigh all right?  
  
***  
  
Chapter 2: The Pain is Forever, Or is It?  
  
I'm sitting in my room still grieving over you. That's not the worst part though. It has been three months since your death. You would think I'd be better, but I wasn't. I felt the same the day of your funeral. I can still see it. It was a terrible day for everyone. Your death changed the world. Changed everyone around you. The place seemed to darken the moment they buried you.  
  
Your brother, Yamato, was completely pale. He seemed to be trapped. Trapped in the very thought of his little brother being gone. He cared for you so much. More than anyone. Even Taichi. He would always show you that other side. That side that seemed to be locked away.  
  
Kari had fainted. You two were best friends. You saved each other so many times. I was always jealous of how close she was to you. I always wanted to be the one to make you smile and laugh the way you did. I loved that day when I was able to.  
  
The day was dark. Just like all the days that came. You looked so calm. You weren't in pain anymore. You were smiling. You smiled when you died. You were smiling now. At me? Yes, at me. You were smiling at me.  
  
Your parents were devastated by the death. Carrying the same look were your friends. The Digidestined were all there at the funeral. So many tears were shed. You held the Crest of Hope. You were Hope. You saved both our world and the digital world and even managed to change so many. You changed me. Many think it was Daisuke who had, but no. You had changed me. Since the first time I laid eyes on you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted you by my side. I almost had created a dark ring for humans and have you under my control, but I could never do that to you. I wanted you, but I wanted you to want me back. You would come to me on your own will.  
  
That day you were mad at me. I had whipped you, but it had no effect on you. You would just smile and see right through me. You seemed to know me. Then that moment you had tackled me to the ground and sat on top of me. I then realized every part of our bodies touching. I was thinking of joining our lips, but I held back. I couldn't tell you then. I couldn't reveal my feelings. Not there. The day I would had to be perfect and it was, to me at least.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Ken!! Ken!! Where are you?"  
  
"Over here." I needed to see you. I don't know why. No, I knew why. I was in love with you. Since the day I first saw you and heard your soft, caring voice.  
  
"Hey Ken. What's up?"  
  
"Nothing." I was happy you had forgiven me for all those things I had done when I was the Kaiser. I never thought you would, but you had.  
  
You leaned back against the tree with your arms behind your head, as the sun's rays hit your body lightly. The way it had made you look so beautiful. I would look at you from the corner of my eyes every now and then making sure you didn't see me. Every time I knew your eyes were on me, I would turn my eyes onto the book I was supposedly reading. We were silent. It wasn't awkward or anything. It was rather pleasant. Maybe it was because you were here with me. You broke that silence with your sweet voice.  
  
"So, Ken, whatcha reading?"  
  
"Just a book for school."  
  
"It's a nice day out. We should do something."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
I kept my eyes away from you. I knew if I looked at you, I would blush. And when I mean blush, I mean turn into a cherry. So I kept my eyes on a safe place. My book. I noticed your gaze was still on me and I ended up looking at you. Our eyes were locked, or at least mine couldn't stop looking into yours.  
  
As time passed, I broke our lock and looked back to my book as I started to blush. You must have noticed since the next thing you had done was rather surprising. Not in a bad way though.  
  
You stood up and I thought you were going to walk away, but instead you stood in front of me. I looked up expecting to see a look of disgust or something like that, but instead I saw something else. Your eyes were soft, but filled with... desire?  
  
You smiled and your eyes narrowed. "Oh, maybe something like this." You leaped at me, knocking me on my back, as your legs and hands kept me in a tight lock. I was too shocked to move. You leaned in closer and pushed your lips onto mine. I moaned as I felt your tongue soon gain entrance into my mouth.  
  
As the kiss broken due to lack of air, you rested your head on my chest. We were in public, which anyone could see, but you didn't care.  
  
"Ken, I love you."  
  
My eyes widened, as I heard the words I had said in my own mind. You loved me?  
  
"I love you too, Takeru."  
  
With those words, you snuggled closer as if we weren't close enough. Maybe we weren't, but all that matter was we loved one another.  
  
From that moment, everything seemed to lighten. I was able to see the colors I never had. You made me see everything in a new way. There was something about you. There was everything about you. I love everything.  
  
**End Flashback**  
  
That same memory has been playing in my mind over and over again. I can't concentrate in school anymore or on anything for that matter. I've lost my appetite and I can't seem to sleep.  
  
I can't stand the pain anymore. Everyone said it was to get better as time passed, but I feel the same I had the day at the hospital and the day at the funeral. Nothing has changed and nothing will. My parents won't like my decision and neither will my friends, but they'll understand, right? They know how I've been feeling.  
  
I'm doing the right thing, right? When you feel like you lost the will to live, you will understand how I feel. This is the way I'm going anyways. I've lost a lot of weight and I know I look horrible. I'm only a burden now. I only take up space and waste air.  
  
This knife is beautiful. It's not gray. It's blue. Blue like his eyes. This is the way I want it to be. It has to be this way.  
  
"Takeru, I'll be with you soon. Please wait for me. Just wait a little longer."  
  
A cold blade against pale skin. A few swipes, a few cuts are all it takes. I know my angel will be disappointed in me, but he'll understand. He will know the pain that I've had to live with so far.  
  
I'm bleeding. The blood is leaving. The blood that was left of me. Of this empty shell. On the floor covered in blood. My parents will be home in two hours. I will die by then. I will die before they can save me.  
  
"Takeru, I will see you soon. Just wait a little longer."  
  
With my angel again. With my love again. I smile. Never thought I would. Takeru smiled when he left. I will smile when I do. A last note to my family and friends. They will understand. They will know.  
  
Bury me with my love, with my angel. Bury me with Takeru so every part of us is together. The pain was too much for me, so I wanted to do this. I'm happy again. I'm smiling again. Sorry for any pain, any tears. I want to be with him. I need to be with him. Angels now. Together again.  
  
Last few breaths. Last sight. Everything is sweet. Everything is bright. The clouds are no longer gray. The world has color again. Many colors. My angel and I are the center. The balance has returned. Light and Dark.  
  
***  
  
NT: How'd you like it?  
  
TK and Ken: *still crying*  
  
NT: But you guys are together again.  
  
Ken: But now we're both dead!!!  
  
NT: But you're angels!  
  
TK: But we left all our friends and families!!! We're dead!!!  
  
NT: *sighs* You probably wanted an all fluff story.  
  
TK: *beams* yes!!  
  
Ken: That would be nice.  
  
NT: *sighs*  
  
TK: Please r/r to make NT stop sighing.  
  
NT: Oh, just to tell you. There may be an epilogue or chapter 3.  
  
Ken: May?  
  
NT: I'm not sure yet.  
  
TK: Epilogue to the story about us dead?  
  
NT: Yes.  
  
TK and Ken: *starts crying*  
  
NT: *sighs* 


	3. Reunited Again

Title: Light and Dark  
  
Author: NT  
  
NT: I decided to continue this fic, so I'm sorry if you were waiting for this or something. I was meaning to do it sooner, but I wasn't sure if I was going to continue or what.  
  
TK: Wahhh!! We're both dead!!!  
  
Ken: *comforts TK*  
  
NT: Not this again, please?  
  
TK: *keeps crying*  
  
NT: I'll make it up to you! This will be fluffiness! Nonstop, well, maybe a little stop to angst, but mostly fluffiness!  
  
TK: Yay!  
  
NT: He changes so quickly.  
  
Ken: NT does not own Digimon and the pairing is Kenkeru meaning male x male! Also some female x female pairings. Don't like, then please turn around and slowly walk away or I could always kick you out.  
  
NT: -_-;; I'm beginning to wonder about you.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 3: Reunited Again (NT: Such a lame title, but couldn't think of anything else.)  
  
***  
  
The past events still haunt my mind:  
  
Our encounter.  
  
My defeat as the Kaiser.  
  
Our first kiss.  
  
Your innocence and smile.  
  
The accident.  
  
The hospital.  
  
You dying.  
  
Your question of angels.  
  
The kiss.  
  
Your death.  
  
The funeral.  
  
My own death.  
  
Darkness swallowing me.  
  
Each event made my heart hurt, but I couldn't stop them from replaying over and over again. I kept seeing everything I had done wrong. Every mistake I had made. Then your face came up. You were the only thing right in my life. You were the only reason I made it as far as I did.  
  
***  
  
I opened my eyes to nothing, but darkness. Where am I? I can't be.... No, that's impossible. I couldn't be in Hell. Then again, I had done so much damage to everyone. To the digital world, to my parents, to everyone. Maybe everyone still saw me as the Kaiser. Maybe I had gone too far. It can't end this way, though. I only did this to see my angel, my Takeru.  
  
Nothing is left to comfort me, but this endless ocean of darkness. I guess this is what I deserved. I did so many things wrongs in my life that this is my true punishment. The heavens forgot about me and this was no hell. Hell probably was too ashamed of me. So, what is this? A space only made for me.  
  
I started to cry. I don't know why I did, but I did. I cried knowing that even after my last attempt, I still wasn't with Takeru. Takeru... where are you? Do you remember me? Do you still... love me? Or have you shut me out of your life? Are you ashamed of me that you would ignore me? No, you are to kind for that. But I wouldn't blame you if you did.  
  
***  
  
I stayed in this position with my knees to my chest and my arms encircling them. I feel so weak. I am weak. I never did deserve you, Takeru.  
  
I felt a pair of arms surround me. Who's there? Soft, silky arms. Beautiful and flawless. Like... an angel? I turn around to be lost in two familiar azure orbs.  
  
"T-takeru?"  
  
You smile and nod slowly. I love that smile and I always will. But what are you doing here? You are an angel and I.... am nothing. You deserve so much more. I would only taint your angel self. I would never forgive me if I were too.  
  
"Takeru, why are you here?"  
  
"For you, silly."  
  
Your voice is as sweet as ever. You were always meant to be an angel. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were always one. Yes, you were always an angel. My angel.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Why else?" Your smile still stays.  
  
You break the small gap between us with a kiss. Our lips join just as they use to, fitting perfectly. I broke the kiss and looked away in shame.  
  
"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve such a beautiful angel."  
  
You hold me tighter as your wings surround me. The white blinds me, but I can still see. I can still see you. The feathers tickle my cheeks as warmth soon grows throughout my whole body.  
  
"Takeru..."  
  
You run your hand through my hair and you just hold me, protecting me from everything. You bring your face closer to mine as I feel your breath on my cheek.  
  
"Yes, my love?"  
  
From our place in the darkness, light broke through the black. Darkness is not with me anymore and it will never be, as long as you are with me. I feel my own dull clothing change. A pure white is all that's left. You let go of me, but your blue eyes still watch me.  
  
For a moment, I thought you were leaving me, but no, you would never. A pair of flawless wings appears from behind. Another angel? Wait, they are mine? But I don't deserve to be an angel. I look back to you. You smile softly at me s you reach a hand out. No thought needed, I take your hand. You take me to the sky, to the heavens.  
  
"Thank you...."  
  
"I said before I would never leave you. Aishiteru, Ken."  
  
"I love you too, always and forever." We fly towards nothing. Or is it everything? Whatever it is, we could care less. We have each other again.  
  
"I want to stay with you and never leave." I speak softly as I blush a bit.  
  
"Wouldn't have it any other way."  
  
You fly towards me with another kiss. This time longer and more passionate. Our tongues play a bit as your innocence comes forth. I always love how childlike you can be. So adorable.  
  
"Keru-chan?"  
  
"Yes, Ken-chan?"  
  
"Well, what are we supposed to do?"  
  
"Other than being in love? Well, we can play around." Your smile brightens even more.  
  
"Even as an angel, you are as cute as ever." This time you blush.  
  
"We could always check on the others."  
  
I look down saddened by the suggestion.  
  
"Ken-chan? Is something wrong?"  
  
"I don't want to see my funeral."  
  
Your smile returns. "We can always see them in the future. How about two years from now?"  
  
I return your smile as you tug on my sleeve.  
  
"Let's go now!"  
  
"Okay, Keru-chan." I place a small kiss on your nose as you giggle.  
  
***  
  
A blinding light occurs. As I open my eyes again, your blue eyes greet my own eyes.  
  
"C'mon!" You pull me down to earth. "Let's see how Yamato and Taichi are doing!"  
  
We come to the Ishida residence and sitting on the couch is a lazy Taichi.  
  
"Same as always." I comment.  
  
Just then, Yamato steps out from the kitchen with a few drinks and some popcorn. He sits beside Taichi in a rather comfortable, not to mention, close position. As a few minutes into the movie they were watching, Taichi grins and leans in towards Yamato stealing a kiss.  
  
Not long after, the movie is forgotten and hands are roaming. I look over at you who is blushing madly at the sight.  
  
"I think we should go, Keru-chan." You nod quickly and we both fly away from the scene.  
  
***  
  
We find each of the others and find out new things. Jyou and Koushiro are in love and Jyou is ready to pop the question as Kari and Daisuke have also found love with one another. Sora and Jun have taken an interest in one another and Miyako is happily dating Iori. (NT: Some weird pairings here, but I didn't know what ones people liked.)  
  
"Everyone seems happy."  
  
"Because they are like us, Ken-chan."  
  
"Like us? In what way?" I ask innocently.  
  
You leap at me and press your lips against mine.  
  
"Oh, that way."  
  
"I'm wanna head back."  
  
"Okay, love."  
  
We both head back to the heavens hand in hand with nothing but bliss in our minds and love in our hearts.  
  
~OWARI~ (Maybe)  
  
NT: Okay, I'm done.  
  
TK: Yay! Fluffy! Except for the beginning part.  
  
NT: I wanted to add more 'stuff' with Ken and Takeru, but I'm just lost at what to write.  
  
Ken: *evil grin*  
  
NT: No!  
  
Ken: *pouts*  
  
TK: Why not?!  
  
NT: Because! Bad angels!!!  
  
TK: But angels are always good.  
  
NT: Please R/R!  
  
TK: We won, didn't we?  
  
NT: No! I just don't feel like thinking. It hurts.  
  
Ken: Okay?  
  
NT: I think I'll shut up now. Sorry if this chapter just totally sucked, but I felt like adding to this fic.  
  
Ken: No more fluffy?  
  
NT: Not unless somehow I'm able to figure out another chapter, which I highly doubt, or if someone wants me to write another chapter with some sort of suggestion since I have no ideas whatsoever.  
  
TK: R/R Please!!! 


End file.
